06: 720
Playing rules: Ticket Level: [Medium] 5,000 points for your first ticket. Timer for street: Medium. Add-A-Coin Control: Maximum of 2 Coins (2 continues).
Special Rules: You may freely choose to buy-in up to 2 times or none at all. You are not permitted to jump over a fence to the outer areas for any reason. If you do, your score will be disqualified. (This is due to a bug where the bees can no longer get you, despite the timer running out of time.)
Current Record holders:
1st: 527,100 - Ron Perelman - 1987
....
5th: 41,440 - Ken Sweet - 2002
Oh dear, i’ve been dreading this one. There are only a few arcade machines that can claim to have scared me as a kid but this is one such game. Bugger used to put me under all kind of pressure, which resulted in me rarely playing it. What was so scary i hear you ask? The bloody bees that’s what – I still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat hearing “SKATE OR DIEEEEEEeeeeee” waiting for the swarm of bees to arrive. Twin this fear with the fact that i was never any good at the game, and all in all you get a machine that i used to actively avoid wherever possible. But for sake of the greater good, i’m going back to that dark place – please don’t hurt me.
What on earth am i going on about? bees? Surely this is a nice little skateboard game? Let me explain. The game is actually very simple, you control a young lad on his skateboard, rolling about the various ramps dotted about in your oddly futuristic landscape. The idea of the game is to build up points, and this is mainly achieved by mastering the 4 skate parks dotted about the place. You have Jump park, Ramp park, Slalom park and downhill park – all of which are pretty similar in that you have to complete small events within a time limit and get graded with a medal if you do well. Problem is, each park visit requires a ticket, and you can only get those by getting points. So if you’re rubbish at the game you’ll quickly find the timer running out where the machine will scream “SKATE OR DIE”, which in turns releases the aforementioned bees. ARGHHHH the bees! the bees!….ahem, sorry. These bee’s will chase you about, increasing speed as they go until they catch up with you and that’s it – game over.
So. Let’s do it.
Hold on though, a problem already. I don’t really understand the settings and rules. In the MAME tab menu i have set the game to Medium, but what does all the rest mean? specifically – “You may freely choose to buy-in up to 2 times or none at all”. Does that mean that i can continue two times? Why would you have a rule like that? How odd.
To save any confusion, i think i will just use the single credit as usual – to be honest i doubt very much that i will get anywhere near the big scores due to my general shit-ness even with 10 continues.
Ok, another hitch. The original arcade machine has a rather large trackball as its controls, which is actually rather handy for all the little spinnies and tricks. My PC doesn’t, and the keys dont really cut it. I’m convinced that you should be able to use the mouse instead, but after various attempts i couldn’t get it to work properly, so sod it – keys it is.
And off we go. Beginner level please game, you silly goose. Ok, i have a free ticket to start off with, so lets meander towards one of the parks. Blimey, this time limit bar is going rather quickly and my attempts to boost my score on the way are failing miserably as i rubbishly topple over the small ramps. Slalom park it is then. oooookay, fucked that up pretty good, 3000 points to the next ticket you say? no chance. SKATE OR DIE!
shitshitshitshitshitshit-getoutofthewaymanonbike!!!-arghhhhh-dead. Blimey.
Score: 4,050
This time i think i’ll choose a different park, and to great success. The downhill park is MUCH easier and i get a silver medal enough for the next ticket. marvelous! Sod that slalom park, so off to the other corner of the park to try one of the others. Handily there are map squares dotted about, that not only give you relief from the time limit for a second, but tell you where everything else can be found, including little shops that sell you things that i have never really noticed the difference from, like new skateboards and jump higher boots. Nothing useful mind, like perhaps a mosquito net for goodness sakes? It certainly wont effect my grace on the skateboard let me tell you, hardly leaping over the ramps like a young gazelle if i’m fair. Ok, Ramp park it is – and i reach there just before the bees get me, helpfully falling in the water on the way in a panic. Hmmm, the ramp park is pretty tricky for a no trick pony like myself, and i only just scrape a bronze medal. 8,000 points til next ticket. FUCK. SKATE OR DIE. arghhh. dead.
Score: 11,300 (not so bad!)
Third go and I stick to the downhill park, where i get a silver medal again. I really notice the problem I have with this game though. To be able to successfully sustain yourself in this game, you need to be able to pick up a couple of thousand points from just fannying about between the parks to earn your tickets and i simply can’t. Best i can manage is a pathetic “barely get over the small ramp” 100 pointer every now and then and that doesn’t help anybody. Again i fail the second park, and have 5,000 points until next ticket. If there was a “lay in a ball crying waiting for the bees” button i would have pressed it. SKATE OR DIE. whatever.
Score: 7,140
Overall, to be fair i think the lack of trackball didn’t help me at all – and with a bit of practice i reckon that 5th place is definitely within reach. Thing is, i don’t want to play the game anymore, please don’t make me.
Actually, the disallowed cheat mentioned in the rules sounds like fun, if only i can find a way to leap over the outer fence (or find a part of the fence that is about 1 inch tall), i might finally be able to get over the fear of the bees as they buzz about unable to get me. Nah, i think i’ll leave it actually.